Listen:
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8)
Reflect:
The God of the mountain is still God in the valley: My story of grief, frustration and waiting.
Normally, I am not very comfortable talking about difficult situations in my life, I am emotional, and I would rather not. But here I am choosing one story to share to encourage someone out there. I like the book of Lamentations, it talks about issues of the heart, tight corners that prophet Jeremiah had to maneuver. A place where only God can understand us fully and stretch His hand to remind us, He is our “portion”, and we can “wait on Him”.(Lamentations 3:24)
The year 2022 was of great blessing and great pain. I was honored by God to behold my first grandchild (Shiku), born of my only daughter Eva in October 2021. I cannot explain the joy of giving the first bath to my lovely granddaughter. It was a feeling like no other, the excitement and the immeasurable joy of seeing the next generation of my lineage. The other blessing: due to the covid, “new normal”, my employer allowed me to work from my city of Nairobi, Kenya for seven months.
Concurrently, a shakeup knocked on my door. I lost my eldest brother, whom I loved so much, and was like a father to me in February 2022. Plus, my marriage of 35 years was being thrown upside down and I could barely understand what was going on. I saw the perils of a long distant relationship and I felt like a stranger in my very home. My husband was used to a married single life of eating alone, hanging out with friends, busy days and it was like I was not there. Assumptions and hopes kept me going but I was in denial something was amiss. I survived Nairobi, came back to Europe and I was hit by PTSD, long words I have never associated with myself. I was grieving for the loss of my brother and my marriage as I knew it.
But in it all, I sought medical and spiritual help and got through it by God’s grace. Trusting God in the waiting, which I don’t enjoy, but assured that He heals, He forgives, and He calls us to forgive. So, I have forgiven, but the wounds are still sour, healing slowly. I am choosing God’s way and His promises and waiting patiently for total restoration.
Prayer of Response:
Lord, Jesus, I pray that my story will encourage a sister or brother. Thank you Lord, for you are my portion in all circumstances and your mercies are new every morning.
I thank God for teaching me who He is, and I pray that we can all grow in the knowledge of Him. I am glad to see the summer season coming and all the life it brings.
Questions to Ponder:
- Do we have any control over our lives or sometimes feel and act like we do?
- Are you or someone you love in “the valley” and need to trust God more deeply?
- How do you react when you feel wronged and offended?
—Submitted by Elizabeth Gachuiri
Elizabeth lives in Ferney Voltaire, France, and works in Geneva in an International Organization dealing with Trade and Development. She is deeply in awe of God’s love and goodness in her life. She believes in the work of Lifesprings and the networks she has been part of. Excited about the just concluded Lifesprings School of Ministry, LSM-Formation Zoé of Uganda and looking forward to seeing what God has in store for this great ministry that she is a product of.
Photo of valley by Fabrizio Conti on Unsplash
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